Clean Slate

I remember on the first day of school, listening to my teachers talking about having a clean slate, a fresh start. All the things that happened in middle school are wiped off, they said. I was sitting in room 301 , writing all my regrets on a paper to throw away. I wrote all my mistakes I kept harbored inside me, all the things that I did that I never forgave myself for. Most importantly, though, I admitted the thing I never thought I would say. All through middle school I put myself in a box, the box of being the perfect person. I blamed the people around me for only perceiving me as the one who always did the right thing, the girl who never got lower than a 90 in any class. The thing is, I saw myself as this too and even though I dreaded the disappointment of the people surrounding me that were breathing down my back constantly, it was me who I was afraid of disappointing.I was trying to mold myself into something I would never become, a statue that was incapable of making the wrong decision. In middle school it felt like the cycle of my trying to be the epitome of perfection would never end, but high school, I discovered, was my chance to be proud of me, not the person people thought I was, the person I yearned to be. I've learned over the course of this year that perfection is impossible, but anything other than my best is inexcusable. If I learn to balance myself, my interests along with the importance of excellence in academics, I will no longer feel suffocated by my own criticizing eyes. I'm glad for this activity.Because of it ,I have a clean slate with everyone: my peers, the teachers and most importantly, myself.