We're almost there

Can you believe it? We're almost there, to the end of the school year. It's weird how everything seems to drag on for an eternity till the end and you look back and it's flown by. By the time we know it, we'll all be graduating with tears in our eyes and early acceptances to colleges like Harvard and Stanford. It's already the fourth quarter and the flowers are blooming, even though I could have sworn just yesterday I was an eighth grader on a plane going to Costa Rica. But that's how life is. It zooms by without you if you don't advantage of every second. Next year we'll be sophomores. We'll be meeting new people, getting smarter, and maturing even more than we've already had (well most people.)I wonder, am I the only one who thinks about how they'll be when they get older? What friends they have, how many broken hearts they have acquired.
High school is definitely not what I would have expected. It's a lot of late nights and hard work. It's frustration and social sacrifice in order to succeed. But I've learned it's also finding yourself. It's about realizing you don't fit in into the crowd and accepting that you're unique. It's about realizing what you're calling is and doing everything you can to make sure it comes true. As the years progress, I know it's inevitable that people are going to change and life is going to get harder. High school is the chance for you to get ready to life alone. When you're on your own, there's no one but you who's going to pay your bills. You're going to have to get a job and make something of yourself, unless you're okay with mooching off of your parents like a leech.
I personally wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Writing club is my new favorite class

Saying that I love writing is an understatement. It's my escape, my vice. Ever since I can remember, it's what I love to do. I think it's safe to say that I'm known in my school for being a writer. And I'm proud of it. So of course I'm going to be a member of the writing club. Not only that, one of my best friends is the leader of it, why wouldn't I join? To me, writing is an art. It's expressive and unique. Something you can make your own. It's a beautiful thing, pouring your feelings onto a piece of paper, and watching your emotions spill everywhere. The best part,though, is the weight lifted off your heart and chest when you finally say the right words. The words that perfectly express what you're feeling, even if it's for a moment. I've always been the type of person that found it easier to write what I felt first before actually saying it. It's like there's a big knot of thoughts in my head that don't come always come out right when I open my mouth. But I can always say what needs to be said with a pen and paper. It's a curse and gift at the same time. It's been a struggle, learning to speak- really speak, when there's something to be said, not being afraid to have others hear it.My theory is the only reason I'm good at writing is because it was my only way out. So naturally I became good at it, but only because my mouth didn't work.

Chasing perfection

My dad likes to tell me : "chase perfection knowing you'll never get it.In the process, you'll be the next best thing, excellent. When he told me that, I was in middle school. I was insecure and yearning to fit in. I had no clue what he was trying to tell me, and to be honest, I was so caught up in my life I didn't try to figure out what he meant. Chase perfection? What was that supposed to mean? To me, he was trying to tell me I wasn't good enough. I would never be good enough because he wanted me to be perfect, and who was I? Only Michelle. Well. I finally get it, years later, when I'm older and more mature. He didn't want me to be perfect. He wanted me to be the exception. If you look around, there are so many people who are fine with being just okay. But you shouldn't just want to be okay. You need to be bigger than that, because you only live once, and you don't always get what you want. To get close, though, you have to bust your hump. Because in reality, it's not the people who are mediocre who get what they want. Life isn't some fairytale where some random prince from far far away sweeps you off your feet and suddenly everything is okay. The most successful people are the people who never give up, who take the nrrow path to what they want. If you want to be remembered, you need to give people a reason to remember you. I mean, there are like a trillion people that are on this planet, and if there's nothing different about you and them you're going to be a part of a huge blob of nothing. You need to be something, and the only for you to do that is to be yourself and and live life to the fullest. Chase perfection but make sure you know you'll never get it. In the end, you'll be excellent.

Watch out world

So I'm back. I couldn't blog on Monday. (If you notice, I never blog on Monday. It's because I have no internet access on Mondays). Anyway, on Monday, I had the honor of meeting some students from Achievement First. It was good to see some new faces that will be sharing our school for the rest of my teenage years. We were interviewed (I'm getting famous a little more every day). They asked us the usual questions:what we liked about the school, our extracurricular activities, and every other question I forgot because I have short term memory loss. I've gotta say, though, I'm excited to meet everybody else. I can really envision myself hanging out with the other kids from Achievement First. You know when you meet some people and you know- you just know that you and those people probably won't get along. Fake smiles and nods will be as social as it gets. It's like a feeling in your gut. I didn't get that feeling. Granted, it was only a few students from the school, my instinct says they're going to be cool people. I say, it will be good to have new people in our school. I mean, I love my classmates, they're like a second family, but there's only so much you can take of the same people. Like they say, same thing, different day. And just imagine all the awesome activities we can do now that there's more people. I know, I shouldn't get all excited. We're still separate schools. Very different yet somewhat similar. But imagine all the change we can do now that there's more than 38 teens. We can definitely change the world now. Planting trees and all that good stuff. So make way, world. First Achievement and UCHS are coming through. Get ready to ooh and ahh at our excellence and originality.

I'm freaking out here

My heart's beating so fast it sounds like humming. My mind is racing so fast I'm getting dizzy without even moving. My hands are shaking while I take gulps of air like a fish out of water.

Nobody told us we were having quarterlies.

To me, this is time for me to fail. I know,me Shelle, the happiest girl in school should be excited or something. First of all, I'm not always happy. Nobody's always happy. (Well there are exceptions). If you think I'm happy all the time then you're sadly mistaken. You obviously don't know me. In the end though, it's easier to forget about what really makes you upset and just smile. Distract yourself from your inner insecurities and flaws as much as you can. It would be a lie if I said I didn't hide behind my smile sometimes. (That reminds me of the lyrics to Paper Wings by Rise Against.)Anyway, back to the quarterlies.Time flies by, and when I found out the news, I wasn't all that thrilled. Hours of sitting and taking a bunch of tests for numerous classes. I hate how tests are ultimately the final test of how you succeed in your education. Have you ever been in the situation where you do all your homework and classwork, but for some inexplicable reason your mind blanks when you take a test? It's like a disorder. Inevitable failure on anything of importance syndrome.Yup that's what I have.I just get really distracted easily and my mind flies by before it really registers in my head what I was thinking. Boredom is my worst enemy.
I feel like the quarterlies are going to roll around in seconds flat and no matter if I study for hours at a time, when I sit in that seat and pick up my pencil, anxiety is going to consume me and wash out everything else in my mind.

The weirdest thing happened to me.

I was on the train with my mother and sisiter. I was looking for a seat so I could memorize the notes to my song for the piano recital. (Didn't memorize it during the break and now I have to pay the price). So lo and behold, there was an empty seat next to someone. The only reason I actually noticed it was because the woman sitting next tio the empty seat was motioning towards me. Once I finally realized she was talking to me, (like five minutes after) I sat down and was about to take out my When the saints packet. Well I guess this person had a different agenda, because she started asking me questions. Questions like what school did I go to and where iot was located. So at first I was thinking in my brain, okay it's just a curious person who wants to see where I attended high school. I was used to this. You have to be when you've worn such spiffy uniforms for your entire middle school career. It turned out she worked in a private school. Whether or not she was a teacher I couldn't tell. For all I know, she could have been the counselor, but the questions she was asking me were what a teacher would ask me. She was asking me what courses I took, how long the hours were whether or not I was satisfied with the school and so forth. After a while she kind of started lecturing me about the importance of uniforms. I remember her saying "It may not seem like it now, but when you get older you'll realize uniforms were for the best. They make sure you stay completely focused on your studies. Don't waste your life because on what's in style because every minute counts". No matter where I go, I get lectured by someone. It's weird how I knew she worked in a school. She sounded like a physics teacher. I consider myself famous for getting so much attention from a stranger. Granted, she would've never noticed me without the uniform. I guess it give me charm, my uniform. But don't worry fans, I gave UCHS a good name. You can always count on that. You may see that lady as a visitor in school one of these days, and it will be all because of me. Then I'll be able to say to people, hey I know her. We talked on the train once andI owe it all to my uniform. it helped me make a new friend and boost the reputation of the school. Thanks uniform.

Everything good's gotta end eventually, right?

I've got to be honest with you fans. I don't want to go back to school. It just doesn't sound all that appealing to me- going back to sitting in desks and raising your hand. It's funny how we all complain how monotonous our breaks are until it's the last day. Then we take advantage of any possible chance to have the last bit of freedom. It's a fact of life, everything good's got to end. I'm not trying to say school is a prison. Goodness no. It's just that-how can I put this-there are more fun things in life. My dad says that you work hard now to play hard later in life. It gets hard- though- staying positive when you're counting the days till the next break. So now we have to wait till like summer vacation to have a day off. At least we have something to look forward to for the rest of the rest of the year. That and the Atlanta trip.