Worth fighting for

There's an urge that I get- almost a hunger- and I can't help but pick up a pen and write.
As I sat in the cafetorium, staring at this beautiful boy that I never met, and unfortunately won't get a chance to, that urge washed over me.
I couldn't believe that someone so young and full of life could think taking it away was the answer.
And as I listened to his story, I was overcome with a wish.
A wish that I could know him. A wish that I could have watched one of his videos before he was gone. A wish to tell him that he wasn't alone.

That I was listening.

That even though I didn't fully understand his pain and struggles, I do know what it feels like to think that your words are echoing through the air without anyone hearing them.
And now that I'm too late, all I can do is make sure I don't forget him- Jamey Rodemeyer, a fourteen year old boy with a love for Lady Gaga, and a beautiful soul, writing and speaking beautiful words, just wanting to be heard.
It hurts knowing Jamey isn't the only one who has been lost to ignorance and hatred. And as we get older, and society changes, there are still people who contribute to taking the lives of people like Jamey. People with their whole lives ahead of them. People who love, laugh, and cry, just like all of us.
It baffled me that there are some individuals who still don't understand that.
That deep down, we all have insecurities. We all have dreams.

We are all human.

Learning about Jamey, I have realized that I don't want to be late for someone else.

I don't want there to be someone else.

And even though I'm only one person, I know that my words are powerful enough to help someone see that they are beautiful, that they do matter.

And that alone is worth fighting for.

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First two weeks

Organization is not my strong suit. I think everyone can agree on that. I just think its much easier for me to stuff everything into a folder and call it a day. Organizing binders? Too much work. It's much easier to have one place to put everything for me. Besides, I honestly believe that I need a daily dose of stress in my life to function. It runs in my family.
The only problem now, though, is that its affecting my grade. So that zero I got for my empty binder for Spanish is one of the reasons I have a 60 in collegiate prep.
Now, my initial reaction would be to rant about the injustice of my grade.
But that was what sophomore Michelle would have done.
Junior Michelle is much more insightful and mature.
Truththfully, I do understand the importance of organization, and I know that the explosion that is called my homework folder, isn't helping me at all.
I am grateful for a class that will help me with all the small things in college that can't be learned from a textbook.
It just isn't going to be easy for me.
Undoing habits never is easy.
That doesn't mean it isn't possible.
So even though I would rather keep my mountain of papers in that same folder, I will try to be organized in the spirit of junior year and trying new things.

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Junior year

Being a junior is tremendous work.
From the first day, we were greeted by these bright eyed teachers preaching about leadership and the importance of this year. By the second day, we were learning new material, and getting ready for what lay ahead of us.
What lays ahead of us, you ask?
AP exams, regrets, the SATs, internships,
College.
All these deadlines are enough to give you a migraine right?
What I've realized over these past few days, however, is that there's so much more to junior year than deadlines.
At first glance, the year seems to be this enormous year full of decisions.
Decisions like, what college do I want to go to, or what career can I really see myself in?
Now this is true. These things are part of the chaos that is junior year.
But junior year is also about growth. Growth as a person, and as a student. It's about looking at yourself in the mirror, and picturing where you'll be in ten years, and asking yourself, I mean REALLY asking yourself,
Am I on the right track?
It's about being honest and facing reality, because college is no longer this distant dream.
It's the future.

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