It's Killing Me

So I'm freaking out here.
My friends are calling me, saying, "Oh my god I got my AP scores in the mail!! What did you get?"
And what do I respond with?
"....I didn't get my scores yet."
And I've been trying to be patient, thinking maybe it's just because Far Rockaway is extremely far away from everywhere else (I mean it's in the name), but this is just getting ridiculous. It's been days now, and I don't even get an email. Where's the courtesy?
Let me just say, I read hundreds of pages on American history, made countless flashcards on biological processes that I could barely pronounce the names of, wrote either a document based or free response essay almost every Friday of every week  for a year, and sacrificed precious sleep in the morning to go to Independent study.
Don't I deserve to know my scores? Don't I deserve to have my anxiety quelled as I  sit here and wonder? Don't I deserve to be able to gloat like everyone else instead  of saying, "...I didn't get my scores yet"? For god sakes, my handwriting was the neatest it has ever been in my entire life in those history essays.
Have mercy College Board.

I'm Not a Bragger

I don't like to brag about myself.

It's weird right? I can hear myself in my head and can't help but  think, jeez shut up will you?  So I usually refrain from bragging, unless I have to.

And when do I have to?

When I'm writing a college essay.

If you didn't already know, writing a college essay means you basically have to sell yourself without making it obvious, in less than six hundred words, to someone who knows nothing about you but your name and and your GPA, which they got off of your transcript by the way. 

How can I tell you everything about myself in less than 500 words?
How can I tell you that my name is Michelle Elisabeth Soto, that I'm obsessed with Indie rock, that I want to move Chicago and own a studio apartment, that my favorite food is my mother's rice beans and chicken, that my new past time is spending hours making abstract paintings, that I narrate my life in my mind like a blog just like the main character of the show Awkward, that I'm a hopeless romantic and cry when I watch movies like The Notebook and The Time Traveler's Wife, that exposing every part of myself on stage is simultaneously  the most terrifying and most addictive thing I've ever done?
I mean, can't I just give them the link to this blog post?
That would be much easier than fitting 16 years of experiences, growth, and epiphanies onto one page of words.
Maybe I can use a smaller font than size twelve.

I'm a Changed Person

After flying across the ocean and spending nine days in Scotland, I feel...older. Wiser.
It was exhilarating, going to a place full of rolling hills, and meeting people who seem worlds apart, but love indie rock as much as I do.
It's almost overwhelming, being exposed to a place that initially seems almost opposite of mine; different accents, food, steering wheels of cars on the right side instead of the left.
It blew my mind.
But I've never felt so alive.
I've never felt so out of my element.
I mean I've been to camp, gone places where I've known absolutely no one. but that's not the same.
I've never had the realization that the world is much larger than New York City.
Until now.
There's a whole other world out there, a whole world that I have yet to explore.
I made so many memories from Scotland that i can't help but want to go back, and make so many more, to plan to explore other countries and cultures in the future.
I'm a changed person.