The Clock is Ticking

The college process was always real to me, ever since I walked into the doors of WCCS and shook Ms. Kennedy's hand for the first time.
But now, as the years are passing, as time is ticking, the concept of college has gotten even more real.
As I thought about the last trip we recently had, I kept wondering, if college has always been on my mind, what makes this trip so different? Because in all honesty, those three days changed something in me, made me see my life differently. Made me discover what it is I want from college.
So I asked myself, what was different? Was it the different schools, the time?
As I looked back on the trip, though, I realized it wasn't any of these things.
It was the moments.
The moments that I had these epiphanies, about me and what I really want.
Like listening to my tour guide from The University of Rochester tell me, "This school isn't looking for well rounded people who seem to be good at everything. They want someone who has a passion for one specific thing."
Or being in an info session at RIT and hearing about its career focused curriculum, and writing seven words on my paper:

I don't want a school like this.

Or sitting on the floor in a room at Osewgo, talking to Journalists who started their own magazine, and thinking:
I want to do this.
These small moments are what made me realize, once again, just how close I am to going to college.
And it made me wonder:
Will I create my own major?
Will I start my own magazine?

What mark will I make in about a year and a half?

Because the reality is that I'll be in college in about a year and a half.

Whether or not it will be University of Rochester, or Syracuse, or University of Pennsylvania, I don't know.

All I know is that the clock is ticking.

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The Reality Is

Wow this is real.
Those words stuck with me as Mr. Baker stood at the front of the room, showing is pictures of the junior college trip.
"This trip isn't for fun," he said.
And he's right.
The words this is junior year ring in my ear constantly, especially during checkpoints when I'm staring at my grades and I have realized that I have failed two classes tor the first quarter.
Because that's the reality.
Thinking about that, its easy to let the stress consume you completely.
I mean, is a 69 really what a college like Syracuse is looking for?
Of course not.
But even though I really want to break down right now, I refuse to.
Becuase at the end of the day, I just need to ask myself,
What do I need to do?
What do I need to change?
Because the first quarter is done and over. So why look back wishing things could be changed, when its much better to say :Regrets? I have none.
One thing that I've realized this year is that success is all about knowing what works for you.
So instead of being hard on myself for the things I can't change, I'm going take a real look at myself. At where I want to spend four years of my life and what that means, at what my strengths and weaknesses as both a student and person are.

I'm pretty sure that's what all the juniors have to do.

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