Turns out I do.
I know what I said before, and a part of me still agrees with it. But I want to change that. I've realized losing things constantly and not knowing what day it is and procrastinating gets harder to deal with when you don't have parents to replace things and your only worry is school. What happens when I'm all grown up?
Here's a secret that I'll probably deny if someone asks me about: one of my greatest fears is that I won't be able to make it on my own. I'll be too dependent on the people who support me to support myself. I won't be able to get a job and will have to move in with my parents.
Because here are the facts: In TWO YEARS I'm going to college. That means I'm on my own for the rest of my life. Even though I can't wait to get out of my house, that's still one of the scariest things I can think of.
The thing is, I don't wanna lose things anymore, or have a huge folder that I have to look through to find everything. I don't wanna wake up late every morning to have to run out to catch the bus that I'll miss. Most of all, I don't wanna be doing these things at college, when I'm 27, or worse, for the rest of my life.
So I vow to change. I vow to make to do lists and never lose a phone again. I vow to stop blasting my music to surround sound while I'm outside and actually look where I'm going. I vow to stop putting crap in the pockets that I don't close and hope that it doesn't fall out. I vow to not wait till 9:30 at night to study for algebra on a Sunday when I had all weekend to do it. I vow to do my laundry without my mom nagging me about it and having to do it herself, and to take out the garbage every night. I vow to start writing in my agenda again and so I don't have to guess what the homework for the tonight is.
And I vow to record my entire journey of becoming a more responsible person right here on this blog.
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