Realization Strikes

It's easy to think that my world is the only one that exists,  and forget how fast it can expand.

And as my world has been becoming more and more real with the anticipation of college, I can feel it expanding, as I meet new people and start to truly understand that I will no longer be in high school in a few months. 

I've been waiting for this realization for what seems like forever, but honestly, my initial reaction seems to be wrong, because what was supposed to be excitement and composure has actually turned out to be intimidation.

I'm a person who likes to be prepared for things, at least know a general outline of what to expect, but my life doesn't seem to be going in a general and expected outline.

I expected to get into Syracuse University and go to Newhouse, but now the excitement of that  acceptance letter is diminishing along with my dream of working for the New York Times, and  my intended major of journalism has been replaced with a major in psychology and minor in Spanish.
 And getting to the realization that there are other places to go than Syracuse, and that I may no longer want to be a journalist was not an easy one.

But isn't that what life is about? Changing your mind as your world expands, and as you continue to challenge yourself in every way possible? Isn't it about continuing to grow as a person, even if it's immensely exhausting?
I find myself realizing that I am no longer a child,  because I'm growing up at an exponential rate right before my eyes, as I prepare for my Posse interview, as I take a college class, as I yearn for stimulating conversations that don't end in me getting asked out in a text message, or playing another game of 21 questions, as I realize that I can now partake in adult conversations I was initially shunned from.

And it seems as if throughout all of this, my written words are the one point of clarity, the one thing that ensures I can stop my world from spinning nauseatingly as I grow up.