Full of maybes

My college list is broken up into two categories; colleges I can see myself at, and colleges that are actually feasible. It's sad, really, thinking about the fact that my dream school may just be that, a dream. 

And as I finish my college applications, I have this recurring dream, or more specifically, nightmare, where I await college acceptances that never come. 

As morbid as that sounds, I'm sure I'm not the only senior whose had this feeling.

But for the first time, I found a school that didn't fit either of these categories.

For the first time, I see myself at a school, but not only in my dreams, in the future.

And maybe it's a women's school.

Maybe I didn't know about it until the school gave me a merit scholarship.

All I know is, after having an hour long conversation with a freshman at Bay Path College it  just replaced Syracuse University as my number one school. 

Because I love Syracuse university. Hell, I'd sell my soul to go there, if I had the chance.

But it's my dream school. That school that I'd go to if I didn't have to think about anything.

But the reality is, I have a lot to think about. I have to think about how my parents are going to cosign on my loans, parents who want to move out of the projects of Far Rockaway About how I have a litle sister who needs to go to college as well.

And maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe I'll finally get to wear that Syracuse  sweater I stole from my ex-boyfriend on its campus next fall. Maybe a letter from Posse got lost in the mail, and I'm actually a finalist. Maybe University of Pennsylvania's need based financial aid isn't actually a myth and my acceptance letter will  be accompanied with an immense of money that I won't be able to refuse. Maybe I'm the future mayor of New York who is a professor of political science on the weekends. Maybe I'll come back to Uncommon to teach Spanish.

And maybe I'll go to Bay Path College.