What they don't tell you in fairytales

When you're a kid and you're young and innocent, you don't think about reality. You live in a dream and the fairytale of a perfect romance with true love's kiss.
What they don't tell you is what love actually feels like.
The butterflies, the fact that it feels as if your emotions are on steroids, all that stuff that they omit from all your typical fairytales.
They don't tell you that there are complications, and half the time it's out of your control. Because most of the actual feelings between two people are simple. It's as easy as, you make me laugh, and I love talking to you.
It's all the other stuff that you can't do anything about that makes it hard. School, busy schedules, overprotective parents.
And you're left thinking: I just want to be with you. Why is everything else getting in the way of us?
Soon enough, there's no turning back, because for once, you have actually broken down that wall you have up for everyone else. You can't imagine your life without them in it, and that's when you realize you're in love.
Of course, no one ever tells you this and you're left to fend for yourself like a lost puppy in the middle of a street. You don't know what you're doing.You've seemed to have lost all of your common sense, and you forget how to think, because you're too busy feeling.
So I'd love to ask the people who made up love stories like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast:
what am I supposed to do?
Because I sure as hell don't know.

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Summer Musings

I felt like a New Yorker today. I had the same realization a New Yorker has when they move away: my school is not the center of the universe, and I don't know everyone. For six years, I have been able to proudly say that I knew everyone around me. and talked to them at least once. I guess the only way for me to have the epiphone that there were so many people I didn't have the pleasure of knowing came today as I walked into a room full of complete strangers.
It showed how small my world is. I live in one the biggest cities in the world, and being in a room of about 125 people I have never seen in my life before can be scary.
I realized though, that most people experience the same tumble of emotions and sudden shyness. It doesn't mean that they run away. It may feel easier to stay in your comfort zone in life and not have to experience moments such as the one described. That doesn't mean anyone should take the easy way out.

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Reflections of a teenage Rising Junior

So here we are, and the end of the year has gone and past. There is so much that I can say right now. As I sit here and wrestle with what should be said, my mind is brought back to a post I read written by the adorable Paul, someone who was a guest speaker for one of the last GSA meetings. One of the things that I remember about him, other than his eloquent opinion on race and sexuality, and amazing yellow shorts, was a blog post he wrote after his school year ended. He ingeniously compiled all of the lessons he learned in a list, something that didn't even cross my mind. So thank you Paul, for your clever way to reflect on the year without having to write an essay on a blog. Inspired by his list, I have created my own in honor of the memorable year I have had:

Lessons Learned in Sophomore Year

1. It's in Freshman's DNA to think that they are better than the upperclassman, when it is obviously not true.
2. No matter how hard you try, there are just some things that you are not good at. (It took me a whole year to figure that out).
3. Homework not being collected means there will be a quiz on it the next day.
4. Some people just don't change.
5. Teachers are human beings.
6. It is possible to live without eating meant, especially if it's Indian food.
7. Alicia Keys and Mariah Carey are amazing.
8. Never assume anything you don't actually know.
9. Being angry at the world is a waste of time.
10. Don't wear a strapless dress on a first date when it's cold.
11. Love doesn't have to be complicated, it can be beautifully simple.
12. High school isn't always like a scene form Mean Girls.
13. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
14. High heels can be really comfortable.
15. If a guy doesn't call you, call him. Just don't get obsessive.
16. It's perfectly okay if you have no idea where you'll be in ten years.
17. Chicago is beautiful.
18. Ellen Greene's voice is glorious.
19. Guys do cry.
20. Demi Lovato is my idol.
21. Twinkies are really hard to find.
22. There is no such thing as getting tired of Spongebob.
23. Pandora becomes your best friend when you're too lazy to update your iPod.
24. Including Lady Gaga in your global essay is just unheard of.
25. There is such a thing as a dumb question.
26. Watching yourself on a huge screen is embarrassing for everyone.
27. Have a plan B.
28. Having to talk out your problems doesn't make you crazy.
29. Not writing about love in a song is excruciatingly hard.
30. Listen to your conscious-no scratch that- OBEY IT.
31. Gel demolishes your hair.
32. The only thing more delicious than twinkies are swiss rolls.
33. There's no other school that would fit me better than the one I'm in right now.

Finally, I can take a breather

Wow, how long has it been? Weeks? Months?
I don't know for sure but I do know that I was so busy that I forgot that I had a blog.
Well that's a lie.
I distinctly remember thinking, I have to update my blog, but either passing out from exhaustion or remembering, oh crap I have to memorize all of act two for the show, or jeez we have an exam tomorrow in Algebra, and forgetting about it.
Even after the show and all the fame (please stop the applause it has already been a week since my debut) I have regents to worry about. Now I don't know what the motivation for some my classmates are, but I do NOT want to be a senior trying to pass the global regents, and I plan to go to Florida this summer, and that won't happen unless I ave those regents.
But today I decided to take a break and relax my neck after I've been bending over a barrons book for over an hour.
Even now as I'm writing this I'm thinking about going to sleep.
I'll say, that's true grit.
Good night loyal fans.

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It's time to be honest

It would be a lie to say that I didn't ever have any free time, or that I didn't know what I had to do to boost up my grade in the classes I have trouble with everyday. To be honest, it would be a lie to say I can't stay till 5:30 everyday for office hours. Technically I can.
But I don't.
I know I can try harder. I'm sure even the master mind Kevin can try harder than he already does. We all can.

Sometimes though, we just don't want to.

Now this post isn't meant to make anyone upset. It isn't meant to spark any future lectures either. It's meant to give some perspective. Some perspective on how we feel. No excuses, just honesty.

I don't like algebra. The fact that I have to put in over 150% effort, and I still fail infuriates me. I think Spanish class is extremely repetitive at times, and half the time I just want to go to sleep in Global, only because its my last class.
It isn't easy to be in school for all the hours we're in it. I think that these high expectations teachers have for us make them forget that we are just as normal as all the other high school students. We may be very uncommon, but we're still teens.
Judy like all of you may be uncommon teachers, but you're still people.
I think people forget that.

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Its simple: Say What You Mean

So we all know those comments that are not outwardly rude, but when you think about it, they really are. Those little things people say that elude to what they really want to say, but they don't actually say it. Sarcastic comments and just annoying petty things that get on your nerves. The question today is, how do you deal with it? Do you confront it? Because that's your first instinct, to turn around and say, "And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Which sounds like a perfectly justified response. The only problem is, this really doesn't solve anything, because chances are the person you just confronted won't actually what they said into what they were trying to say in the first place. So your left upset at someone's cowardice, looking like you can't take a joke. Even though 99 percent of the time the subliminal isn't funny in any way.
So what do you do? Hurt your brain trying to untangle the puzzles that people tell you?
No way.
See what people don't realize is, life isn't Facebook. You shouldn't be talking as if you were reiterating one of your statuses you posted. It's simple really. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And if people like to throw subliminals at you and expect you to try to unfold the mystery they so "cleverly" wasted time on saying, don't.
If they really have something important to say, they can say it, not hint at it like this is some Shakespeare play or something, and your trying to say something without really saying it.
Truth is, I don't have time for it.
Who does?

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How Long has It been?

A little bird told me that it has been a really long time since I have updated my very important and popular blog. Well all I can say is,
I've been busy.
My time is spent studying, acing my part as the amazing Audrey in the musical, and fulfilling my role as an editor in Chief for our highly anticipated magazine.
I speak for everyone when I say that we are ALL busy. What with regents and trying to excel in all our classes, I don't think that anyone even leaves at 3:45 anymore. It's an unspoken rule that everyone has to stay for at least one session of tutorial now, even if we're exhausted and just want to veg out in front of the television.
That shows a lot of growth on our part. Yeah, we still have trouble with prioritizing things, especially the nightly studying. Personally, I think that studying is against human nature, along with making your bed everyday, but maybe that's just me.
The year is almost over, and I think everyone is just realizing that. The summer is almost here, and we all have a lot to do before it arrives, but we also have a lot to be proud of. We're not done with the year, but looking at all the work we have done, and all the struggles we have overcome, we should ALL pat ourselves on the back.